May I have your attention . . .

A few weeks before the National Basketball Association begins their season, all the rookie players meet for a mandatory orientation session. One year, a group of provocatively dressed females were hanging out in the hotel bar drinking and flirting with the young NBA players.

The next morning, as the rookies assembled for their first session, they were surprised to see the same group of young women from the night before. Each woman then stepped to the front of the room and introduced herself: “Hi, I’m Donna, Cynthia, Karen, Michelle - and I’m HIV positive.”

That one carefully designed experience had more impact on the players than a dozen cautionary lectures on the risk of AIDS.

What has this got to do with managing change?

Plenty!

There is a section of the brain known as Broca’s Area, which is a sort of filter for sensory input, sifting through everything we see and hear and read to separate the useful, the pertinent, and the unusual from the rest of what we can call background noise. In other words, Broca’s Area looks at all input and lets pass what is familiar and commonplace, but stops to examine what is novel or surprising. When something is described as having arrested our attention, the phrase is more than apt: some piece of input or information has in fact been detained for questioning.

Have you noticed that it is getting increasingly difficult to get people’s attention when you are announcing an organizational change? Maybe that is because change has become such a common occurrence that speaking about it has become part of the corporate background noise. It simply slides right through the Broca’s Area.

As a leader of change - if you want to grab someone’s attention, you may have to move from announcements to creating an experience (a product fair, a panel of customers, a “secret shopper” visit to a competitor, etc.) in which people learn for themselves that which you would have told them.

Do you focus on strengths or weaknesses?

Here is a question I often ask my audiences: “If your boss told you that she noticed something about your performance and wanted you to come to her office to discuss it, would you assume that she had noticed an area of your special competence and wanted to bring it to your attention?” Among the majority of audience members who respond with nervous laughter, only a few hands raise.

Bosses tend to notice and comment on weaknesses and mistakes more than they comment on talents and strengths. Bosses feel it is their role to criticize because the old model for employee improvement is based on what one middle manager refers to as the “If-I-don’t-say-anything, you’re-supposed-to-know-you’re-doing-fine. I’ll-let-you-know-if-you-screw-up.” mentality. While continuous learning and self-improvement are valid concepts for future success, focusing solely on what is lacking leads to an unbalanced evaluation of employees’ worth and potential. It is no wonder then that most workers have problems taking risks and confronting uncertain situations. The focus is on weakness, not competence, and without an awareness or confirmation of their strengths, workers lack the confidence required to embrace change.

Todd Mansfield, Executive Vice President of Disney Development Company, found that his company had been spending too much time on employee weaknesses: “When we’d sit down to evaluate associates, we’d spend 20 percent of our time talking about the things they did well, and 80 percent on what needed to be improved. That is just not effective. We ought to spend time and energy helping people determine what they are gifted at doing and get their responsibilities aligned with those capabilities.”

Participation is not just a “nice” thing to do for employees, it is a sound business strategy. Here’s how one senior executive put it: “Our work force will run through walls for you, if they perceive that we’re all in it together. Participation unleashes behaviors and passions that I think leaders sometimes miss by trying to look strong and omnipotent -- as if that is what a leader is all about. It isn’t. It’s not about having all the answers. It’s about being open to other people contributing, providing their insights and offering diverse perspectives so that you get to the best decision, not just the leader’s decision.”

A Different View of Empathy

Supreme Court Justice David Souter is retiring and President Obama is looking for a nominee who has, among other qualifications, "empathy for ordinary Americans." I assume that the president has his own definition of empathy, but in my programs on "The Nonverbal Advantage" and "The Silent Language of Leadership," I use the term to describe the human ability to internalize the emotional state of others by simply observing or mirroring their body language.

We are hard-wired to connect with others. The brain's mirror neuron system gives us the ability to create an image of the internal state of another person's mind. The moment you see an emotion expressed on someone's face - or read it in her gestures or posture - you subconsciously place yourself in the other person's "mental shoes," and begin to sense that same emotion within yourself.

And notice what happens naturally the next time you are talking with someone you like or are interested in. You'll find that you and your partner have subconsciously switched body postures to match one another - mirroring nonverbal behavior and thereby signaling that you are connected and engaged. A recent research study observed two different teachers as they taught students. One used mirroring, the other did not. The students' reactions were substantially more positive toward the teacher using mirroring techniques. They believed that teacher was much more successful, friendly, and appealing.

There are other forms of behavioral congruence in which people imitate each other without realizing it. Interactional synchronizing occurs when people move at the same time in the same way, simultaneously picking up coffee cups or starting to speak at the same time. This often occurs when we are getting along well with another person, and it can feel as though we are “on the same wavelength.” In fact, synchronizing is once again the result of our subliminal monitoring of, and responding to, each other's nonverbal cues.

One executive told me that in a negotiation session he often mirrors the posture of the person he's dealing with. He noticed that doing so gives him a better sense of what the other person is experiencing. I've noticed this as well. Our bodies and emotions are so closely linked that by assuming another person's posture, you are not only gaining rapport, but are actually able to “get a feel” for his or her frame of mind.

In his book, On Becoming a Person, psychologist Carl Rogers wrote, "Real communication occurs when we listen with understanding - to see the idea and attitude from the other person's point of view, to sense how it feels to them, to achieve their frame of reference in regard to the thing they are talking about."

Reaching that goal of real communication -- of understanding, of empathy -- this is why nonverbal literacy is so crucial to our profession relationships.

Tips from the Trenches:
Surviving and Thriving in Turbulent Times

For many of us--even for most--these are the toughest and most nerve-wracking of times. A recent survey by the American Psychological Association indicated that financial concerns topped the list of stressors for at least 80% of those surveyed. More than half reported the most common symptoms of stress being anger, fatigue, and an inability to sleep.

As I travel globally to speak for various organizations, I hear comments like this: “People who work here are afraid to take a day off or not work long hours because they will appear to be a non-asset. This is making morale plummet and is a cycle of destruction.”

However, there is another side to the story.

I recently conducted a survey of over 200 professionals from the United States, Canada, and Europe to find out what people were doing personally and professionally to survive--or even thrive--in these turbulent times. Below is an outline. If you’d like a full copy of the 8-page report, email CGoman@CKG.com.

Personal Strategies
As expected, the highest number of strategies for thriving in tough economic times had to do with spending cuts. But those weren't the only strategies that people were employing. Here are the top three categories of tips reported.

1. Modify Spending. Respondents said that they are being cautious about spending and look more to the future when planning vacations, spending money on our house, or helping our older children. The big difference is slowing down a little when making financial decisions and watching more closely for the unexpected expenses.

2. Stay Positive. During this economic time, it is a good reminder to be thankful for the blessings you have and not to take anything for granted. Remember to focus on the positive, not the negative.

3. Renew Your Spirit. Remember that this recession is not about you. Take joy in networking--reconnecting with folks you value and making new connections. Help others make connections. Appreciate each day. Share the highlights of your day with your loved ones around the dinner table. (Invite others who are struggling to join you.) Start new habits that may change your life for the better forever.

Professional Strategies
1. Look for Ways to Add Value. I think there are a lot of career advantages in this recession, especially if you already have a job. Stepping up to the plate without being asked. Looking for ways to make improvements in processes, procedures and especially cutting expenses is a great way to show you care and you are a valuable employee. Sitting around and fading into the background is not a good idea. No one is in a position to just "hang on" to their job. Acting like and working like an owner really helps. Demonstrating how much you care and want to get things done right the first time can speak volumes. Asking yourself, what can I do better, what can I do differently, what may need to be changed or improved. Continue to be a team player. When possible see where you may be able to help out a co-worker. This could have great advantages in itself especially if you gain more knowledge about a particular topic or process or learn something completely new. Again, you are making yourself more valuable to the company by becoming even more well rounded.

2. Develop Skills. The recession may be a wake-up call for many people, pointing out to them the importance of investing in themselves and their skill sets.

3. Have a Job Search Strategy. Be prepared in the event that your job is eliminated. Devote as much time job researching, searching, applying, and networking for the job you want in the event you lose your current position. Be realistic about your skills and what you want or don’t want in a new position.

4. Network, Network, Network. It has become more important that ever to build and solidify professional and personal connections. Along the way, business relationships have been strengthened.

Communicating change, collaboration and credibility

I’m speaking on June 9 at the IABC World Conference in San Francisco, where I’m looking forward to reconnecting with some great old friends – and making some great new ones!

My session (scheduled from 11:15 a.m. to 12:30 p.m.) will be an overview of the challenges and opportunities for employee communication in today’s turbulent business environment. Here’s a quick look at the three key areas I’ll be addressing in “Communicating Change in Uncertain Times.”

CHANGE

A quarter of a century ago I was a therapist in private practice who had just agreed to speak to the communications department of a major bank on the "human" side of organizational change. It was my first talk to a corporate group, but from that program on, I was hooked. I became a huge fan of communicators everywhere and a passionate advocate for helping individuals and organizations thrive on change.

Organizational change efforts (still) fail more often than they succeed. And rarely because of poor strategies. Rather, it's almost always a "people" issue.

My session will begin with the lessons I have learned over the past 25 years - about people in organizations, and about what does and doesn’t work in communicating change.

COLLABORATION

Business functions operating as silos are a major hindrance to corporate performance in organizations around the world. I’ve seen firsthand what silos can do to an enterprise: The organization disintegrates into a group of isolated camps, with little incentive to collaborate, share information, or team up to pursue critical outcomes. Various groups develop impervious boundaries, neutralizing the effectiveness of people who have to interact across them. Local leaders focus on serving their individual agendas - often at the expense of the goals of the rest of the organization. The resulting internal battles over authority, finances and resources destroy productivity, and jeopardize the achievement of corporate objectives. Talented (and frustrated) employees walk out the door – or worse yet, stay and simply stop caring.

Today, more than ever, we need a unified organizational focus that only comes by breaking down silos and harnessing the power of collaboration.

In my session, we’ll a look at the communicator’s role in “silo-busting,” reducing conflict, and increasing collaboration.

CREDIBILITY

Traditional explanations of human behavior in the business world presume that employees are influenced most by meaning and reasoning.

But . . . recent studies from the Human Dynamics Group at MIT's Technology Media Lab, Xerox and Intel's research centers (and a growing volume of other evidence from psychology, neurobiology and sociology), suggest that this view is seriously flawed. The key to successful change communication may be found in understanding the kinds of signals ordinarily overlooked, especially tone of voice and body language.

In my session, we’ll look at the latest research about how credibility and trust are really communicated.

In addition, I’ll have my latest book for sale – and will offer a free management team “appraisal and training session” to the lucky winner of a drawing. (Email me for details!)

Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D., is an executive coach, management consultant, and keynote speaker who addresses association, government, and business audiences around the world. Her latest book is THE NONVERBAL ADVANTAGE – Secrets and Science of Body Language at Work. For more information, contact Carol by phone: 510-526-1727, email: CGoman@CKG.com, or through her websites: www.CKG.com and www.NonverbalAdvantage.com.

I'm collecting "Tips from the Trenches" - a report on what people are doing (not what they're advising others to do, or what they know they should do, but actually doing) to thrive and survive in these turbulent economic times. If you'd like to participate, please email me at CGoman@CKG.com.

Below is a response I received from a woman named Cyndy Kaufman. I thought her story so valuable I wanted to share it right away.

"My position was eliminated last July. My company was going through several reorganizations and layoffs. Although I was safe from the first two rounds...you never know. My position was just not needed in the current scheme of things. So my next steps? We work at our jobs 8-10 hours. And that is how much time I devoted to job researching, searching, applying and networking. While I kept an open mind about the type of work, I was also realistic about my skills and what I wanted to or didn't want to include in a position. These efforts paid off. I had about a dozen phone interviews and almost the same in-person interviews.

I help others in their efforts to look for work. That means that two or more of us are looking and making contacts. Boomerang theory really works here! I had held a networking group for the first few months. We would meet for coffee or at the noon hour once every two weeks. We shared tips, resume writing feedback and our frustrations. Everyone has a job today...well, okay, that would be almost for me...keep reading...

From previous job searches, never bring up salary unless they do. Often if they think you are wonderful and the right person, the salary can magically appear. And don't settle for less than your current base salary (the days of bonuses and incentives are fading away). That will only make you bitter and resentful in your new wonderful position. I learned that after my first layoff, years ago. Having been a career counselor and having many jobs myself, if you keep confident (not overconfident) about your job/self worth, you will not fail to bring in the appropriate compensation for your life's work.

I also believe you should have 9-12 months salary in the bank all of the time...regardless of your current status. If I hadn't I would not be in good shape today...eight months later. Having this cushion allowed me to turn down a job I knew would not be in my best interest. Instead, I waited and took a job for the future...with the Federal Government. However, my security clearance will take 8 months or so. Again, I had the savings to endure the months of non-income and make the best decision.

That said, I am looking for freelance, part-time and hourly work to help me until my first paycheck. Although everyone else is doing the same. I carefully pick small networking events that can provide me with contacts or skill building for the future. I have volunteered for professional associations so that my name is out there and I get more contacts. This also allows me to keep current in the industry.

I've cut back on my gym membership. However, exercise is especially important if you are not working or worried about the times. I walk outside and do abs on my bedroom floor to stay in shape. I looked for a sale for hand weights as well. I pay a small fee not to lose my initiation fee and can be in this non-active status for 6 months. I do not go out for dinner or lunch except for a rare networking dinner or lunch. I make my own cookies/muffins. I buy a whole chicken and make several days of it. I make pizza from the dough you can buy in a Trader Joe's. Chili, lasagne, are other possibilities. Meals from scratch are much cheaper than ready-made. So hone up on your cooking skills. This really saves the pennies. I clip coupons and shop the sales. I bunch my errands so I don't have to go out (and use gas...) everyday. I had to cut back on cable TV services and I don't go out to the movies. I will rent the DVD or purchase online when I have the cash flow. I use the local library! for magazines, checking out books, and DVDs. I'm not afraid to say no to my family or friends or tell them I honestly would prefer not to spend the money right now.

Most of all, surround yourself with positive people and keep positive inner thoughts if you are faced with a job layoff. Often this can lead to something greater/better/different.

If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to ask. I hope I can help you make a difference in someone else's life."

Best Regards, Cyndy